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How to get people to stop leaving you annoying messages, or any messages whatsoever

Over recent months I've become a fan of the show House. While a drama, it has many intricate moments of comedic relief, sarcasm, and pure shock value as House dishes out his own brand of intelligent mockery. I also found out it's based on Sherlock Holmes stories. You may even note the similarity of "House" and "Holmes" along with their sidekicks "Wilson" and "Watson" (ooh, clever, eh?).

Anyway, in one episode we get to hear House's answering machine, and it says (in his voice), "You've reached a number which has been disconnected and is no longer in service. If you feel you've reached this recording in error, go with it, hang up. On three: One, two—" (the beep comes where three would have been).

I thought this might be a good idea. So, I made it my answering machine. Given that the message is in my voice and the last part is far too unprofessional for an actual system message I figured people would figure it out.

Well, many didn't.

My mom called me the next day worried my phone service had been disconnected. I told her it was me and she was upset I had scared her like that. I laughed.

Then, just today, I had to go sign some papers at my apartment office. They had called me earlier but had not left a message. While filling out some paperwork, the girl asked if my number was still in service because she got an error message when she called. Caitlin, btw, hates that I put this on my phone and thinks I'm a huge nerd, so I tried to make sure she didn't give me away and poked her in the knee. She was cool enough not to point out the truth. I told the girl something must have been wrong with my phone, probably because my dog chewed my current phone and I'm awaiting a new one in the mail (which, if she really knew anything, she would realize that a phone is unrelated to your voicemail service).

Caitlin's persistent comments of "you are so dumb, change your stupid voicemail" had me convinced I should. However, after seeing the great results in stopping stupid messages from being left for me, I have decided to stick with it. Why ruin a good thing?

House is great, and my answering maching is reaping the benefits.